we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
