bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
