why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
