Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
