It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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