the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
