Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
