All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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