yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
