i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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