you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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