she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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