Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
