I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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