her vagina looked like bernie madoff
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
