there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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