we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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