3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
