Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
