your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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