I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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