Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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