I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
