I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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