your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
