Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
