I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
