Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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