Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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