It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
