Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
