the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
