i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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