Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
