I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
