I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
