I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
