I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
