I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
