so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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