I wannas sexs uuuuu
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
