Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
