i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
