i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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