My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
