who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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