trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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