I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
