i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
