people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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